Bridie Was Teachin' Out in Carysfort 
I Was Workin' in the Bank 
2 Paycheques Every Friday 
And a Morris Minor Out the Back 
But I Was Mad For Jigs and Reels 
Drinkin' Dirty Big Pints of Stout 
When the Bank of Ireland Gave Me the Boot 
They Said "Don't Let the Door Hit Your Arse On the Way Out." 

Fiddlee Diddlee Deidely Dee 
I Was Born to Play the Funky Ceílí 
Over the Seas and Far Away, Off to Ameri-kay 
Fiddlee Diddlee Deidely Dee 
Where the Wild, Wild Women Were Waitin' For Me 
Think of Me Bridie Whenever You See Me There On Your Mtv 
I Love You, a Cushla, But How Could I Be 
Without Me Punky Funky Ceílí 

Bridie Broke Down and Started to Bawl 
When I Told Her About Me Divorce From the Bank 
She Said "I've Got News of Me Own, a Stor, 
I'm 2 Months Late, It's Not With the Rent" 
She Said I'd Have to Be Tellin' Her da 
So We Drove the Morris Minor to Cork 
The Ould Fella Said "You've Got Two Choices, 
Castration, Or a One Way Ticket to New York!" 

So Here I Am Up On Bainbridge Avenue 
Still in One Piece But Glad I'm Alive 
Drinkin' Dirty Big Glasses of Porter 
Playin' Me Jigs and Me Reels and Me Slides 
Think of You, Bridie, Whenever I'm Sober 
Which Isn't Too Often, I Have to Confess 
Take Good Care of the Morris Minor 
Bad Luck to Your da 
And Give the Baby a Great Big Kiss.... 
From His Daddy in the Bronx 

Oh Bridie, I'm Still Crazy About You, Girl 
Does the Baby Look Like Me, Bridie? 
Has He Got Red Hair and Glasses? 
Oh, Bridie, Sell the Morris Minor 
Come On Out to America, Girl 
The Pubs Never Close Over Here 
I've Got a Palace Up On Bainbridge Avenue 
I've Got the Biggest Bed in the World, Girl, 
We Can Stay in It and Make Babies Forever....